the scary thing about dating is that you are either going to marry that person or break up
deep thoughts from an anus
if my life was a drink it would be room temperature coke with the ice melted
No lie my vagina looks so pretty. I edged up my landing strip and it it’s 10/10.
the church is open tomorrow
my submission box is open now
my wallet needs to be as thick as my thighs
*reads the last line again*
*closes the book*
*throws book out the window*
*jumps out the window after it*
*writhes in pain while clutching the book*
*cries and rocks it back and forth*
*puts it back down on the shelf*
*Calls friend* “read this book”
It’s about who you miss at 2 in the afternoon when you’re busy, not 2 in the morning when you’re lonely.
watch this whole thing please
jfc im laughing my ass off
watching this video was like sitting in a car accelerating to 150, slamming the breaks, spinning out of control, and barley missing a head on collision with a semi-truck.
Best backstory. (x)
You know…for a second there…his head shape led me to believe he could be Phineas’s father.
CANNON NOT EVEN CLOSE TO BEING ACCEPTED
honestly i hate when people try to sugar coat shit like if you don’t like me or don’t wanna hang or don’t wanna talk to me just fucking tell me don’t keep ignoring me and expect me to figure out the hint like that’s such a bitch ass move i’d rather hear it from you than be ignored 99% of the fucking time.